Teaspoons, knives, and rusty hacksaws

Okay, I have done nothing exciting or of note at all today, so I shall instead focus on the mundane things I've been seeing all day on the internet.

Q: Where would you go to find a steady supply of mind-numbing crap that could make a coma patient fall asleep?
A: Facebook.

Especially the adverts. Take this hilarious example. There is an advert for a game called Frontierville. The picture for the advert features a bear, mouth open, eyes ablaze, getting ready to maul a hunter who is wearing what looks like a dead racoon on his head. In my mind's eye, the ensuing mauling would be rather hilarious, if it were not for the picture's accompanying caption: "Can you Bear it?"

No, Facebook, I can't bear it. Not only do your puns make me wish I was doing something more productive (like slowly gouging out my brains with a teaspoon), I notice that you've patronisingly capitalised the word bear, as if people who actually play your game will become so braindead (not that it matters to me, I'm washing off the teaspoon as I write this) that they won't get the joke unless you scream in their faces "Look! A BEAR! Can you bear it? Cuz it's a BEAR LOL". But, in fairness, my mind just isn't as sharp during the summer, so thank you for spoon-feeding it to me.

In other news, I was feeling quite bored today. I don't know what you do when you get bored. Perhaps you make yourself a nice cup of tea, or maybe you blast music, or do a crossword. Of course, if I did that, it wouldn't be worth writing about. No, I turn to Youtube, and consequently, I find that I've spent a good hour and a half watching entertaining videos with titles like, "This Idiot Hurts Himself, Check It Out", "News Reporter Touches 6000 Volt Electric Fence" and "World's Worst Knife-Throwing Accident".

Actually, that last one isn't as funny as it sounds, until Philip Schofield, in an attempt to draw attention away from the assistant's bloodied face, shouts to the audience, "Did anyone count how many knives actually hit the board?" Now, I'm all for drawing attention away from something like that, but good grief, the girl's just recieved a knife to the head, don't ignore her!

Oh, and if you're feeling a bit low, you might want to check out this tasty little video. I laughed out loud at it, not just "*Chuckle* That's funny." but a full "Wahahaha, BAM!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_PC-s_LyiE

See? Did you laugh out loud? ... no? ....... that's just me then?

Ah well. Anyways, coming next week, Serialkillerville, the advert for which shows a man with a beard in a hockey mask running around chasing women with a rusty hacksaw, accompanied with a caption saying "You'll never believe what I just Saw."

Well, probably.